Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
