Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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