I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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