my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize