your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize