Yo dont text me then not text me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
