Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
