I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
