I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
