I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
