I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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