Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
