Midget sex pt 2 tonight
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
