He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
