It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
