I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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