Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
