So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize