We're facebook friends in real life
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize