He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize