yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
