Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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