did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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