well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
