i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
