New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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