i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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