Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
