ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize