How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize