I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
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