sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize