do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
