I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
