i wish my penis had a tongue
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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