I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize