I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
