ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
