my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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