we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
