xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
