it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
