mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize