So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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