I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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