i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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