This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
