piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
