omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Randomize
