goodnight i made you a song goodbye
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
