Dual....:-)
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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