Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
