maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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