I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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