My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
