Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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