I just made out with a guy for $7.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize