she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
