My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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