I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
