i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize