Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
