Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
