she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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