in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
