I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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