Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My balls are so social today.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
