so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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