I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
