My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i now understand why vodka
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
