glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
